liǎng nián bàn qián

两年半前

Two and a half years ago

yóu yú tǔ cáo néng liàng shī kòng

由于吐槽能量失控

Because the energy is out of control

zào chéng kōng qián jué hòu de dà zāi nán

造成空前绝后的大灾难

Cause an unprecedented catastrophe

zāi nán guò hòu

灾难过后

After the disaster

quán qiú dōu shòu dào tǔ cáo néng liàng de fú shè

全球都受到吐槽能量的辐射

The whole world is radiated by Tucao energy

shòu dào fú shè de rén

受到辐射的人

People exposed to radiation

yǒu hěn dà jī lǜ huì huò dé chāo néng lì

有很大机率会获得超能力

There is a high chance of gaining superpowers

yú shì yī shí jiān

于是一时间

So for a time

gè zhǒng chāo néng lì fàn zuì fēn fēn yǒng xiàn

各种超能力犯罪纷纷涌现

Various superpower crimes have emerged

chāng juàn yī shí

猖眷一时

Rampant for a while

lián hé guó kāi shǐ zǔ zhī chāo néng lì tè zhǒng bù duì

联合国开始组织超能力特种部队

The United Nations began to organize super-powered special forces

dàn shì réng rán wú fǎ zǔ dǎng yù yǎn yù liè de fàn zuì làng cháo

但是仍然无法阻挡愈演愈烈的犯罪浪潮

But still can’t stop the intensifying wave of crime

suǒ yǐ

所以

and so

yuán běn shì jiè zhōng jiù cún zài de chāo néng lì zhě sān jù tóu

原本世界中就存在的超能力者三巨头

The three giants of superpowers that existed in the original world

dà biàn chāo rén

大便超人

Stool Superman

gǒu gǒu xiá

狗狗侠

Dog Man

yǐ jí zhuǎn bǐ zhàn shì

以及转笔战士

And the pen warrior

zì fā de zǔ zhī le

自发的组织了

Spontaneously organized

míng wèi dì qiú hǎo chāo rén de

名为地球好超人的

Named Earth Superman

dà xíng xuǎn bá jié mù

大型选拔节目

Large selection program

wǒ men de mù de

我们的目的

our aim

jiù shì xiǎng cóng quán dì qiú rén zhōng

就是想从全地球人中

Just want to get from all the people on the earth

xuǎn bá chū yī pī fù yǒu zhèng yì gǎn de chāo néng lì zhàn shì

选拔出一批富有正义感的超能力战士

Select a group of super warriors with a sense of justice

lái zhì cái chāo néng lì fàn zuì

来制裁超能力犯罪

To punish superpower crimes

bǎ yī qiè zuì è de miáo tóu

把一切罪恶的苗头

Take all the signs of evil

quán bù è shā diào

全部扼杀掉

Kill it all

ràng wǒ men huí guī dào yī gè

让我们回归到一个

Let's return to a

hé píng

和平

peace

chún jìng

纯净

Pure

hòu dé

厚德

Honesty

bāo róng de shì jiè

包容的世界

An inclusive world

yīng xióng men

英雄们

heroes

zhàn shì men

战士们

Warriors

bù yào zài yóu yù

不要再犹豫

Don't hesitate anymore

yī qǐ jiā rù wǒ men ba

一起加入我们吧

Join us together

wǒ men de kǒu hào jiù shì

我们的口号就是

Our slogan is

wèi shì jiè

为世界

For the world

dài lái ài

带来爱

Bring love

qīn ài de xuǎn shǒu men

亲爱的选手们

Dear players

hǎo hǎo biǎo xiàn nǐ men de chāo néng lì ba

好好表现你们的超能力吧

Show your superpowers well

dì yī wèi xuǎn shǒu

第一位选手

First player

qǐng dēng chǎng

请登场

Please come on stage

gè wèi dǎo shī hǎo

各位导师好

Hello mentors

wǒ jiào jí fēng bà zhě

我叫疾风霸者

My name is hurricane

nǐ men kě yǐ jiǎn chēng wǒ wèi

你们可以简称我为

You can call me for short

jí bà

疾霸

Disease tyrant

hǎo de

好的

Ok

jí bà

疾霸

Fast tyrant

kāi shǐ nǐ de biǎo yǎn ba

开始你的表演吧

Start your show

jí bà

疾霸

Disease tyrant

bù yào zhòng fù nà me duō biàn a wèi

不要重复那么多遍啊喂

Don't repeat it so many times

hǎo de

好的

Ok

nǐ wèi shén me liǎn hóng a

你为什么脸红啊

Why are you blushing

yīng gāi shì wǒ cái duì a

应该是我才对啊

It should be me

gè wèi qǐng shàng yǎn

各位请上眼

Everyone, please pay attention

zhè shì yī bǎ fēi cháng kù de

这是一把非常酷的

This is a very cool

pǔ tōng de tāng sháo

普通的汤勺

Ordinary soup spoon

ō

喔

Oh

shǐ yòng yì niàn gǎi biàn wù zhì wù lǐ xíng tài de néng lì a

使用意念改变物质物理型态的能力啊

The ability to use ideas to change the physical form of matter

suī rán bǐ jiào sú qì

虽然比较俗气

Although more tacky

dàn hái tǐng shí yòng de

但还挺实用的

But it's pretty practical

yǒu shén me xiàn zhì tiáo jiàn ma

有甚么限制条件吗

Are there any restrictions

zhǐ yǒu yī gè fēi cháng kù de xiàn zhì tiáo jiàn

只有一个非常酷的限制条件

There is only one very cool restriction

zhè gè chāo kù de chāo néng lì

这个超酷的超能力

This super cool super power

zhǐ néng duì tāng sháo qǐ zuò yòng

只能对汤勺起作用

Can only work on the spoon

xià yī wèi

下一位

Next person

děng děng děng děng

等等等等

Etc., etc

wǒ xiǎng qǐ lái le

我想起来了

I remember

wǒ hái néng kào yì niàn ràng wǒ nà gēn wān qū

我还能靠意念让我那根弯曲

I can still bend my root with thoughts

chāo jí kù a

超级酷啊

Super cool

nà suàn shén me

那算什么

What is that

wǒ yě huì a

我也会啊

I will too

zhù zuǐ nǐ zhè gè hūn duàn zi chāo rén

住嘴 你这个荤段子超人

Shut up, you silly superman

hòu lái yì yù bù dé zhì de jí fēng bà zhě

后来 抑郁不得志的疾风霸者

The wind tyrant who was depressed later

jiāng dì qiú shàng suǒ yǒu de tāng sháo dōu juǎn chéng le qiú

将地球上所有的汤勺都卷成了球

Roll all the spoons on the earth into balls

zào chéng le jù dà de sǔn shī

造成了巨大的损失

Caused a huge loss

bèi liè wèi shǐ shàng bǎi dà zuì è chāo néng lì fàn zuì zhě zhī yī

被列为史上百大罪恶超能力犯罪者之一

Listed as one of the top 100 criminals with superpowers in history

shí wàn gè lěng xiào huà

十万个冷笑话

One hundred thousand bad jokes

gǒu gǒu xiá

狗狗侠

Dog Man

wǒ gāng gāng zhǐ shì shùn zhù tā jiǎng

我刚刚只是顺著他讲

I just followed him

bù shì kāi huáng qiāng

不是开黄腔

Not in a yellow tone

wǒ bù xiǎng gēn nǐ shuō huà

我不想跟你说话

I don't want to talk to you

shì zhēn de

是真的

it is true

nǐ shēng shén me qì a

你生什么气啊

Why are you angry

bì zuǐ ba

闭嘴吧

Shut up

wǒ zhēn de zhǐ shì shùn zhù shuō de

我真的只是顺著说的

I really just followed

wǒ de nà yě què shí kě yǐ

我的那x也确实可以

My X is indeed ok

tǎo yàn

讨厌

hate

guān wǒ shén me shì

关我什么事

It's not my business

wǒ jiě shì yī xià ma

我解释一下嘛

Let me explain

wǒ yòu bù xiǎng tīng nǐ jiě shì

我又不想听你解释

I don't want to hear you explain

wǒ

我

I

gè wèi dǎo shī qǐng duō zhǐ jiào

各位导师请多指教

Dear tutors, please advise

wú míng wèi

吾名为

My name is

bā lēi gè bā

巴勒个巴

Bale

ō èr hào xuǎn shǒu ma

喔？ 二号选手吗

Oh? Contestant number two?

shén me shí hòu shàng lái de

什么时候上来的

When did it come up

ó wǒ zhī dào le

哦 我知道了

Okay, I get it now

nǐ de néng lì shì yǐn shēn

你的能力是隐身

Your ability is invisibility

yǐn shēn gè guǐ a

隐身个鬼啊

Invisible ghost

wǒ dōu dài zài zhè lǐ hěn jiǔ le

我都待在这里很久了

I have been here for a long time

bā lè

芭乐

Guava

bù yòng lǐ tā

不用理他

Ignore him

kāi shǐ nǐ de biǎo yǎn ba

开始你的表演吧

Start your show

ō

喔

Oh

gǒu gǒu xiá lǎo shī

狗狗侠老师

Dog Man Teacher

wú jiào bā lēi gè bā

吾叫巴勒个巴

My name is balgeba

wú hěn zhōng yì nǐ

吾很中意你

I like you very much

shì me

是么

Is it

yī huì néng gěi wú qiān míng wò shǒu ma

一会能给吾签名握手吗

Can you give me an autograph and handshake in a while

méi wèn tí bā lè

没问题 芭乐

No problem guava

kāi shǐ nǐ de biǎo yǎn ba bā lè

开始你的表演吧 芭乐

Start your show guava

shuō qǐ wú de chāo néng lì

说起吾的超能力

Speaking of my superpowers

qǐng suí biàn gěi wú ná shàng yī tái diàn nǎo lái

请随便给吾拿上一台电脑来

Please bring me a computer

jì rán néng lì shì hé diàn nǎo xiāng guān

既然能力是和电脑相关

Since the ability is related to the computer

nà nǐ kàng yī bǎ dà jiàn zuò hé yòng chù

那你抗一把大剑做何用处

What use do you use to resist a big sword?

ó dà jiàn

哦 大剑

Oh big sword

yīn wèi

因为

because

wú nǎi jiàn shì

吾乃剑士

I am a swordsman

jiàn shì de chāo néng lì què hé diàn nǎo yǒu guān

剑士的超能力却和电脑有关

The swordsman’s superpowers are related to the computer

zěn yàng

怎样

how

chéng xù yuán yě néng huà màn huà ne

程序员也能画漫画呢

Programmers can also draw comics

tǎng zhù yě zhōng jiàn a

躺著也中箭啊

I'm hitting an arrow while lying down

zhè shì yī duàn yǎn shì yòng de wén zì

（这是一段演示用的文字）

(This is a text for demonstration)

dà jiā qǐng kàn tóu yǐng yí

大家请看投影仪

Everyone please look at the projector

wǒ dǎ le yī duàn yǎn shì yòng de wén zì

我打了一段演示用的文字

I typed a text for the demo

jiē xià lái

接下来

Next

jiù shì jiàn zhèng qí jì de shí kè le

就是见证奇迹的时刻了

It's time to witness the miracle

wǒ zhà

我咤

I'm

rú gè wèi suǒ jiàn

如各位所见

As you can see

wú de chāo néng lì

吾的超能力

My superpower

jiù shì jǐn píng yì niàn

就是尽凭意念

Just by mind

jiù kě yǐ zài diàn nǎo shàng dǎ chū méi zì

就可以在电脑上打出槑字

You can type 槑字 on the computer

shùn dài yī tí

顺带一提

By the way

xiàn zhì tiáo jiàn jiù shì zhǐ néng dǎ chū zhè gè zì

限制条件 就是只能打出这个字

The restriction is that you can only type this word

qí tā de hái dé kào shǒu dǎ

其他的还得靠手打

Others have to be beaten by hand

zěn me yàng

怎么样

How

gǒu gǒu xiá lǎo shī

狗狗侠老师

Dog Man Teacher

lì hài ba

厉害吧

Awesome

lì hài nǐ mèi a

厉害你妹啊

Amazing, your sister

zhè jì néng shì yǒu duō méi yòng a

这技能是有多没用啊

How useless is this skill

děng nǐ hái bù rú yòng lán yá jiàn pán

等你还不如用蓝牙键盘

You might as well use a bluetooth keyboard

chà píng

差评

Bad review

děng děng

等等

and many more

gǒu gǒu xiá

狗狗侠

Dog Man

bù yào jí zhù àn chā

不要急著按叉

Don't rush to press the fork

zhè gè néng lì shuō bù dìng néng pài shàng yòng chǎng

这个能力说不定能派上用场

This ability might come in handy

wèi lái

未来

future

rú guǒ yǒu hēi kè duì gōng yòng wǎng luò fú wù zào chéng wēi hài shí

如果有黑客对公用网络服务造成危害时

If hackers cause harm to public network services

shuō bù dìng kě yǐ kào tā zhè gè néng lì dǐ dǎng zhù ne

说不定可以靠他这个能力抵挡住呢

Maybe you can rely on his ability to resist it

hái yǒu gǒu gǒu xiá

还有狗狗侠

And dogman

wǒ zhēn de bù shì gù yì de

我真的不是故意的

I really didn't mean it

wǒ zhǐ shì xiǎng zǔ zhǐ nǐ àn àn niǔ

我只是想阻止妳按按钮

I just want to stop you from pressing the button

hòu lái

后来

later

bā lēi gè bā chéng wèi le yī míng wǎng luò jiàn huáng shī

巴勒个巴成为了一名网络鉴黄师

Baleba became an online appraiser

tā yòng yì niàn shǐ quán qiú de máo piàn

他用意念使全球的毛片

He used his mind to make the world's pornography

dōu dǎ shàng le méi zì mǎ

都打上了槑字码

Are all marked with the word code

hòu lái bèi píng wèi shǐ shàng zuì rě rén tǎo yàn de shí dà chāo jí yīng xióng zhī yī

后来 被评为史上最惹人讨厌的十大超级英雄之一

Later was named one of the ten most annoying superheroes in history

lā bù chū lái

拉不出来

Can't pull it out

yào zěn me bàn a

要怎么办啊

What to do

zhè zhǒng shí hòu qǐng yòng jú shuǎng kāi sāi lù

这种时候请用菊爽开塞露

In this case, please use Jushuang Kaiserlu

guān jiàn shí kè zhǐ xū xiǎo xiǎo yī dī

关键时刻 只需小小一滴

Just a small drop at the critical moment

chún tiān rán bù tiān jiā rèn hé fáng fǔ jì

纯天然 不添加任何防腐剂

Pure natural without any preservatives

wǒ men shì dà cháng de bān yùn gōng

我们是大肠的搬运工

We are porters of the large intestine

wǒ yě yòng jú shuǎng

我也用菊爽

I also use Ju Shuang

jú shuǎng kāi sāi lù

菊爽开塞露

Jushuang Kaiserlu

guān jiàn shí kè jiù kào tā

关键时刻就靠它

Rely on it at the critical moment

qǐng rèn zhǔn shāng biāo jú shuǎng

请认准商标 菊 爽

Please look for the trademark Ju Shuang

dǎo shī men hǎo

导师们好

Good mentors

wǒ shì hào cān sài xuǎn shǒu

我是3号参赛选手

I am the number 3 contestant

méi qí sī dào yàn

梅 琪斯 道燕

Majestic Doyen

zǒng suàn yǒu gè nǚ xuǎn shǒu le

总算有个女选手了

Finally there is a female player

zhuǎn bǐ xiá bié bǎ jiǎo fàng zhuō zi shàng

转笔侠 别把脚放桌子上

Don't put your feet on the table

wǒ zǒng jué dé huì wén dào wèi dào

我总觉得会闻到味道

I always feel it smells

hǎo le bù yòng lǐ tā men

好了 不用理他们

Okay, ignore them

kāi shǐ zhǎn shì nǐ de chāo néng lì ba

开始展示你的超能力吧

Start showing your super powers

ó hǎo

哦 好

okay

nà wǒ jiù kāi shǐ le

那我就开始了

Then i'll start

qǐng gè wèi kàn zǎi xì le

请各位看仔细了

Please look carefully

hǎo le

好了

All right

shī fǎ

施法

Cast a spell

wán bì

完毕

complete

zhè jiù shì nǐ de chāo néng lì ma

这就是你的超能力吗

Is this your superpower

gé kōng ràng rén liú bí xuè

隔空让人流鼻血

The air makes you nosebleed

zuò dé xiāng dāng bù cuò ne

做得相当不错呢

Doing pretty well

nà zhǐ shì nǐ zì jǐ bǎ chí bù zhù ér yǐ ba

那只是你自己把持不住而已吧

It's just that you can't control it yourself

bù guò

不过

but

huà shuō huí lái

话说回来

anyway

nǐ zhè jiā huǒ zěn me yě zài zhè lǐ ya

你这家伙怎么也在这里呀

Why are you here too?

bā lè

芭乐

Guava

hái yǒu gāng cái de jìng tóu yě shì nǐ gǎo de guǐ ba

还有刚才的镜头也是你搞的鬼吧

Also, the scene just now was caused by you, right?

gǎo guǐ

搞鬼

[ __ ]

rén jiā xīn xīn kǔ kǔ zhè shì wèi le shén me

人家辛辛苦苦这是为了什么

What is this for the hard work?

yào bù shì wǒ zhè fān zǎo jiù jìn bō le

要不是我这番早就禁播了

If it hadn't been for me, I would have banned it a long time ago

bù yào zài zhè lǐ zhuāng kě lián ya

不要在这里装可怜呀

Don't pretend to be pitiful here

dǎo shī men

导师们

Mentors

guò le zhè me jiǔ

过了这么久

After so long

nǐ men nán dào méi fā xiàn yǒu shén me dōng xī biàn huà le ma

你们难道没发现有什么东西变化了吗

Didn’t you find that something has changed?

nán dào

难道

Is it

nán

难

difficult

nán dào

难道

Is it

fā xiàn le ne

发现了呢

Found it

méi cuò

没错

That's right

zhè jiù shì wǒ de chāo néng lì

这就是我的超能力

This is my super power

zhè bù dòng huà de huà miàn

这部动画的画面

The screen of this animation

yǐ jīng quán bù fǎn zhuǎn guò lái le ó

已经全部反转过来了哦

It's all reversed

wǒ cā

我擦

I rub

zhè néng lì diāo bǎo la

这能力碉堡啦

This ability bunker

kě shì hǎo xiàng méi shén me yòng a

可是好像没什么用啊

But it seems useless

zhěng jí dòng huà yī jù tái cí dōu méi yǒu jiù jié shù la

整集动画一句台词都没有就结束啦

The whole episode of animation ends without a single line