wǒ hěn xiǎo de shí hòu

我很小的时候

Since I was very young

jīng cháng wǎn shàng shuì jué zhī qián

经常晚上睡觉之前

As I lay in bed at night

huì xiǎng xiàng zì jǐ chéng wèi yī gè nǚ hái zi de yàng zi

会想像自己成为一个女孩子的样子

I often pictured myself as a girl

rán hòu jiù huì xiǎng xiàng yǒu xiē mó fǎ

然后就会想像有些魔法

I would imagine magic happens on me

huò zhě shì yī xiē diàn yǐng lǐ miàn

或者是一些电影里面

Or thought of some movie scenes

tū rán gēn rén jiā jiāo huàn le shēn tǐ

突然跟人家交换了身体

Of body swap

kuà xìng bié bù shì yuán lái de chuán tǒng méi tǐ bào dǎo de

跨性别不是原来的传统媒体报导的

Transgender people are not psychopaths or ladyboys

nà yàng yī zhǒng biàn tài huò zhě shì rén yāo

那样一种变态或者是人妖

As covered by traditional media

dìng yì shàng lái jiǎng de huà kuà xìng bié zhǐ de shì

定义上来讲的话“跨性别”指的是

By definition, the transgender refer to

zì jǐ nèi xīn suǒ rèn tóng de nà yàng yī gè xìng bié

自己内心所认同的那样一个性别

The group of people who have a gender identity

gēn tā chū shēng de shí hòu de xìng bié bù yī zhì

跟他出生的时候的性别不一致

That differs from their assigned sex

zhōng guó de kuà xìng bié dà gài zài jǐ bǎi wàn zhè yàng yī gè shù liàng jí bié

中国的跨性别大概在几百万这样一个数量级别

There’re around millions of transgender people in China

wǒ zhēn de kěn dìng zì jǐ de nèi xīn shì yī gè nǚ shēng

我真的肯定自己的内心是一个女生

It was actually after I entered college

qí shí shì zài dà xué yǐ hòu

其实是在大学以后

That I became really sure I’m a girl inside

rén jiā shì cóng xiǎo dào dà jiù kāi shǐ dāng nǚ shēng

人家是从小到大就开始当女生

Girls are girls since they were born

rén jiā dāng rán zhī dào shén me nián líng gāi chuān shén me

人家当然知道什么年龄该穿什么

They surely know what to wear at different ages

rán hòu nǐ suì cái kāi shǐ dāng nǚ shēng

然后你19岁才开始当女生

And you started to be a girl at 19

rán hòu nǐ jiù huì fā xiàn

然后你就会发现

Then you realize

qí shí hěn duō dōng xī nǐ gēn běn jiù bù dǒng

其实很多东西你根本就不懂

That there’re a lot of things you don’t know

wǒ mǎi le jiǎ fā mǎi le huà zhuāng pǐn

我买了假发，买了化妆品

I buy wigs, cosmetics

yě mǎi le nǚ shēng de yī fú

也买了女生的衣服

And women clothes

qù cháng shì jīng jù de nà yàng yī zhǒng liàn xí de fāng fǎ

去尝试京剧的那样一种练习的方法

I try the practice method of Beijing Opera

kě yǐ ràng sǎng yīn biàn dé gèng jǐn

可以让嗓音变得更紧

To make my voice more intense

gèng jiē jìn yú nǚ shēng de yī zhǒng shēng yīn

更接近于女生的一种声音

And more like that of a girl

nián de yuè fèn de shí hòu yě kāi shǐ shuō qù shǐ yòng jī sù

2017年的1月份的时候也开始说去使用激素

In January of 2017, I also started to take hormone

xiǎng zì jǐ cóng tóu dào jiǎo

想自己从头到脚

I want to be the same as a girl

dōu gēn yī gè shùn xìng bié de nǚ shēng méi yǒu shén me qū bié de zhuàng tài

都跟一个顺性别的女生没有什么区别的状态

From head to toe

wǒ de fù mǔ zuì hòu gǎn jué chéng le zhè gè shì jiè shàng zuì bù néng jiē nà wǒ de rén

我的父母最后感觉成了这个世界上最不能接纳我的人

My parents become the last people in the world to be able to accept me

mā mā yǒu shuō guò xiǎng gēn wǒ tóng guī yú jǐn

妈妈有说过想跟我同归于尽

My mom said she wanted to perish together with me

dāng shí hěn nán shòu

当时很难受

I was so heartbroken

bǐ guò nián hái lèi

比过10年还累

Each day felt like a year

jué dé hěn màn zhǎng

觉得很漫长

I found it hard to go on

hé bù xī shēng yī xià zì jǐ

何不牺牲一下自己

Why can’t you make a sacrifice

shōu liǎn yī xià zì jǐ

收敛一下自己

To hide yourself

chéng quán dà jiā

成全大家

And help the rest of us

qí lè róng róng

其乐融融

To make us happy

dāng shí wǒ de fù mǔ gěi le wǒ yī gè xuǎn zé shì

当时我的父母给了我一个选择是

My parent made me to decide

yào me liú zài jiā lǐ jì xù qù dāng tā men de ér zi

要么留在家里继续去当他们的儿子

Either to stay at home and be their son

yào ma jiù shì cóng zhè gè jiā lǐ chū qù

要嘛就是从这个家里出去

Or get out of the house

dào xiàn zài qí shí gēn jiā rén de guān xì hái shì màn màn zài róng qià

到现在其实跟家人的关系还是慢慢在融洽

In fact we’re getting along better slowly

tā men jué dé wǒ shì tā men de ér zi

他们觉得我是他们的儿子

They see me as their son

rán hòu wǒ jué dé wǒ shì tā men de nǚ ér

然后我觉得我是他们的女儿

I think I’m their daughter

wǒ men chéng lì le yī gè quán guó de kuà xìng bié rè xiàn

我们成立了一个全国的跨性别热线

We set up a national hotline for the transgender

kuà xìng bié de yì yù hé jiāo lǜ de fēng xiǎn chāo guò le

跨性别的抑郁和焦虑的风险超过了40%

Over 40% of transgender people are at the risk of suffering from depression and anxiety

chāo guò de rén huì cháng shì zì shā

超过10%的人会尝试自杀

Over 10% try to kill themselves

yú shì wǒ men xiǎng dào

于是我们想到

So it occurred to us

néng fǒu yòng xiàng rè xiàn de zhè yàng yī zhǒng fāng shì

能否用像热线的这样一种方式

That if we can help them

qù bāng zhù dà jiā

去帮助大家

Through hotline

huò zhě shuō shì chéng wèi qīng tīng hé péi bàn de zhè yàng yī zhǒng jiǎo sè

或者说是成为倾听和陪伴的这样一种角色

To be their listener and companion

yīn wèi xiàn zài wǒ men zhǐ yǒu gè jiē xiàn yuán

因为现在我们只有7个接线员

Now we only have 7 operators

fēn bù zài gè chéng shì

分布在6个城市

In 6 different cities

wǒ men de jiē xiàn yuán bì xū shì yī míng kuà xìng bié zhě

我们的接线员必须是一名跨性别者

Our operator must be a transgender

néng gòu gǎn tóng shēn shòu

能够感同身受

So that he/she is able to feel it with the caller

qù nián yī gòng shì yǒu duō wèi lái fǎng

去年一共是有400多位来访

Last year we received calls from over 400 people

yù jì jīn nián de shù liàng yīng gāi huì bǐ qù nián gèng duō

预计今年的数量应该会比去年更多

We expect more this year

jiē dào guò nián líng zuì xiǎo de qiú zhù shì yǒu suì

接到过年龄最小的求助是有13岁

The youngest is 13 years old

zhè yàng yī gè lái fǎng

这样一个来访

He turned to us for help

qí shí yǒu yǐ shàng de kuà xìng bié zài suì yǐ qián

其实有90%以上的跨性别在18岁以前

Actually over 90% of transgender people identify a different sex inside

jiù yǐ jīng rèn tóng zì jǐ de nèi xīn yǒu lìng wài yī gè xìng bié de cún zài le

就已经认同自己的内心有另外一个性别的存在了

Before 18

zhèng guī de yī yuàn gěi kuà xìng bié zuò jī sù zhǐ dǎo zhǐ zhēn duì chéng nián rén

正规的医院给跨性别做激素指导只针对成年人

Legal hospitals offer guidance only for adults on taking hormone

bìng qiě shì suì yǐ shàng de chéng nián rén

并且是20岁以上的成年人

And only adults over 20

wèi chéng nián rén fú yòng jī sù zhè gè wèn tí

未成年人服用激素这个问题

As for the problem of teenagers taking hormone

zhè gè qí shí

这个其实

It actually

jiù gěi le wǒ men hěn dà de tiāo zhàn

就给了我们很大的挑战

Poses a great challenge to us

shǒu xiān nǐ gào sù tā

首先你告诉他

First of all it’s impossible for us

nǐ bù néng chī jī sù nà shì bù kě néng de

你不能吃激素，那是不可能的

Tell them not to

yīn wèi rú guǒ zhēn de cóng zhè tiáo lù shàng zǒu guò lái de kuà xìng bié

因为如果真的从这条路上走过来的跨性别

Because if you’re a transgender who’s really been there

nǐ dōu huì duì tā nà zhǒng

你都会对他那种

You would be able

jí yú qù gǎi biàn zì jǐ nèi xīn de nà zhǒng kě wàng

急于去改变自己内心的那种渴望

To feel his desire

nǐ huì gǎn tóng shēn shòu

你会感同身受

To change himself

chī yào zhè gè shì qíng wǒ men guǎn bù le nǐ

吃药这个事情我们管不了你

We couldn’t make the decision for you

dàn shì wǒ men jiàn yì nǐ qù dìng qī dì jiǎn chá zì jǐ de shēn tǐ

但是我们建议你去定期地检查自己的身体

But we suggest you do physician examination on a regular basis

nián líng zuì dà de yǒu kuài suì de jiě jiě

年龄最大的有快50岁的姐姐

The oldest person calling is almost 50

tā shì yī gè nán kuà nǚ

她是一个男跨女

She transform from a man

zhī dào wǒ men rè xiàn zhī qián

知道我们热线之前

Before knowing our hotline

tā dōu shì yī gè hěn gū dú de zhuàng tài

她都是一个很孤独的状态

She’s been lonely

tū rán yǒu yī tiān zhǎo dào le gēn tā lèi shì de rén

突然有一天找到了跟她类似的人

One day she suddenly found a group of people like her

néng gǎn shòu dào tā nèi xīn de nà yàng yī zhǒng xǐ yuè hé jī dòng

能感受到她内心的那样一种喜悦和激动

We can feel her joy and excitement

tā shuō tā nǚ ér jīn nián jiù yào gāo kǎo le

她说她女儿今年就要高考了

She said her daughter was about to take the college entrance examination this year

rán hòu děng tā nǚ ér gāo kǎo wán

然后等她女儿高考完

After the exam

rán hòu tā jiù qù zuò xìng bié zhòng zhì de shǒu shù

然后她就去做性别重置的手术

She would take the sex-change operation

xiàn zài zì jǐ yǒu yī fèn quán zhí de gōng zuò

现在自己有一份全职的工作

Now I have a full-time job

duǎn shì pín de biān dǎo

短视频的编导

As a producer of short videos

yě shì zài yī jiā

也是在一家ngo

Also at a NGO

xián xiá de shí jiān qù zuò jiē xiàn yuán zhè jiàn shì qíng

闲暇的时间去做接线员这件事情

I work as an operator in my spare time

gè xíng gè yè dōu yǒu kuà xìng bié de cún zài

各行各业都有跨性别的存在

Transgender people are in all walks of life

jué dìng yī gè rén de xìng bié de bù shì tā de shēng zhí qì

决定一个人的性别的不是他的生殖器

A person’s gender is not decided by his genitals

ér shì tā de líng hún

而是他的灵魂

But his soul

yī gè rén shì fǒu shàn liáng yī gè rén shì fǒu zhēn chéng

一个人是否善良、一个人是否真诚

Whether someone is kind, sincere

yī gè rén shì fǒu jiǎng xìn yòng

一个人是否讲信用

Or trustworthy

gēn tā shì shén me yàng de xìng bié qí shí shì wú suǒ wèi de

跟他是什么样的性别其实是无所谓的

Is not connected with his gender