wèi shén me nán shēng bù qù zhǔ dòng dì zhuī nǚ shēng

为什么男生不去主动地追女生

Why guys don’t pursue

kě néng yīn wèi xiàn zài nǚ shēng yuè lái yuè zhǔ dòng

可能因为现在女生越来越主动

Maybe because now girls tend to take the lead

tā méi yǒu zhè gè xīn qíng

他没有这个心情

And he’s just not in the mood

nán shēng zhī jiān kāi wán xiào huì shuō yǎng nǚ péng yǒu hái bù rú yǎng gǒu

男生之间开玩笑会说，养女朋友还不如养狗

We would make jokes like keeping a dog is better than having a girlfriend

dà jiā dōu shuō tiǎn gǒu bù dé hǎo sǐ

大家都说舔狗不得好死

Nice guys finish last

tā bǎ nǐ dāng bèi bèi tāi nǐ shì bù shì yào zuò yī gè tiǎn gǒu ne

她把你当被备胎，你是不是要做一个舔狗呢？

She treats you as a third wheel, and you’re still a sucker for her?

dān le liǎng nián le

单了两年了

I’ve been single for two years

liù nián

六年

Six years

dào xiàn zài lái suàn de huà wǔ nián le

到现在来算的话，五年了

Five years now

dāng rán huì yǒu a

当然会有啊

Sure have

xiǎo xué nà shí hòu yǒu qù zhuī zì jǐ xǐ huān de dì yī gè nǚ shēng

小学那时候有去追自己喜欢的第一个女生

I pursued a girl when I was in elementary school

qíng shū hái bèi lǎo shī méi shōu le

情书还被老师没收了

And my love letter was confiscated by my teacher

sān bù qū yuē chī fàn yuē kàn diàn yǐng yuē guàng jiē

三部曲，约吃饭，约看电影，约逛街

The classic trio, dinner, movie and shopping

zhǔ dòng jiē jìn tā

主动接近他

I’d approach him

jiù xiàng sī jiā zhēn tàn

就像私家侦探

Like a private detective

fēng kuáng dì kàn tā bó kè fēng kuáng kàn tā péng yǒu quān

疯狂地看他博客，疯狂看他朋友圈

And spy on his blogs and wechat moments

wǒ huì zhí jiē wèn tā a

我会直接问他啊

I’d just ask him

wǒ wèn nǐ dào dǐ xǐ bù xǐ huān wǒ

我问妳到底喜不喜欢我

Do you like me or not

rú guǒ bù xǐ huān jiù lā dào

如果不喜欢就拉倒

If not, that’s fine

jiù shì zhí nán biāo zhǔn sān lián wèn

就是直男标准三连问

They all ask the same three questions

chī le ma shuì le ma zài gàn ma

吃了吗，睡了吗，在干嘛

Did you eat, are you sleeping, what you doing

huí fù dé hěn kuài miǎo huí yě shì yī zhǒng měi dé

回复得很快，秒回也是一种美德

When he replies real quick, it’s a moral really

nǐ zuò zài tā duì miàn tā huì hěn yuàn yì yòng yǎn shén qù kàn nǐ

你坐在她对面，她会很愿意用眼神去看你

When you sit across her, her eyes linger on you

yī gè nǚ shēng rú guǒ dān dú yuē nǐ qù kàn diàn yǐng

一个女生如果单独约你去看电影

If a girl asks you to go to a movie with her alone

nà zhè gè yī dìng shì bù zhèng cháng de

那这个一定是不正常的

That definitely means something

dāng rán bù shì nǚ hái xiǎng dǎ fā shí jiān ér yǐ

当然不是，女孩想打发时间而已

Absolutely not, we are just killing time

rén shēng sān dà huàn jué

“人生三大幻觉”

“Three illusions of life”

dì yī tā xǐ huān wǒ dì èr shǒu jī xiǎng le dì sān wǒ néng fǎn shā le

第一她喜欢我，第二手机响了，第三我能反杀了

One, she likes me; Two, my phone just rang; Three, I’m gonna turn the tide

tīng lì kǎo shì gào sù wǒ men hòu miàn shì zhòng diǎn

听力考试告诉我们but后面是重点

Listening tests tell us, what really matters is what comes after but

nǐ hěn hǎo dàn shì nà gè shì dá àn

“你很好…但是”，那个是答案

“You are a nice guy, but…”, and that is the answer

wǒ yě jīng cháng zhè yàng bèi fā hǎo rén kǎ

我也经常这样被发好人卡

I get that a lot

còu yī fù pū kè pái chà bù duō

凑一副扑克牌差不多

If I had a nickel every time a girl said that to me

dāng rán kě néng yī gè yuán yīn jiù yīn wèi wǒ zhǎng de chǒu ba

当然可能一个原因就因为我长的丑吧

Maybe my look is one of the reasons

duì fāng jiù jù jué nǐ wǒ jué dé wǒ men bù hé shì

对方就拒绝你，“我觉得我们不合适”

They reject you, “I don’t think we are right for each other”

suī rán bù chéng rèn zì jǐ zhǎng dé chǒu

虽然不承认自己长得丑

I don’t think I look very bad

dàn shì xīn lǐ qīng chǔ dì míng bái zì jǐ de xíng xiàng shì zài wǎng xià pō lù zhè yàng zǒu

但是心里清楚地明白自己的形象是在往下坡路这样走

But I do admit that my appearance is heading downwards

zài dà chéng shì de huà wǒ jué dé jīng jì shì yī gè nǐ táo bù diào de yuán yīn

在大城市的话，我觉得经济是一个你逃不掉的原因

In a metropolis, financial condition is a major factor

hěn duō nán shēng qù cháng shì zhuī qiú dàn shì zǒng shì bèi lěng chù lǐ

很多男生去尝试追求，但是总是被冷处理

Many guys tried, but they were always left high and dry

bù néng shuō rén jiā yǐ jīng míng míng jù jué nǐ le

不能说人家已经明明拒绝你了

And when you are rejected

nǐ hái yào pīn mìng de qù wǎng rén jiā shēn shàng qù tiē

你还要拼命的去往人家身上去贴

It’s a courtesy to stop trying

zhǎng dà le zǒng guī duì měi jiàn shì dōu huì yǒu yī gè fēng xiǎn píng gū zhè yàng de yī gè jī zhì

长大了总归对每件事都会有一个风险评估这样的一个机制

As an adult, I have a mechanism for risk evaluation

jiù xiǎng de duō le zì rán jiù dòng de shǎo le

就想的多了，自然就动的少了

When I think more, I act less

qí shí dān shēn de rén hái shì kě wàng yǒu gǎn qíng shēng huó de

其实单身的人还是渴望有感情生活的

Single people want a love life

dàn shì xiàn shí jiù shì zhè yàng zi

但是现实就是这样子

But reality is cruel

wǒ níng yuàn xuǎn zé de shì wǒ xiān qù bǎ zì jǐ zuò hǎo

我宁愿选择的是我先去把自己做好

I would rather focus on me for now

kē jì zhè me fā dá

科技这么发达

Technology is developed to a such point today

huì yǒu yī xiē jiù shì xiàng xìng ài jī qì rén zhè zhǒng dōng xī

会有一些就是像性爱机器人这种东西

That we have sex robots

shēng lǐ shàng huò zhě shì jīng shén shàng yǒu yī xiē xū qiú

生理上，或者是精神上有一些需求

These robots can satisfy some of your needs

xìng ài jī qì rén jiù kě yǐ mǎn zú tā

性爱机器人就可以满足他

Whether they are physiological or psychological

wǒ huì gèng piān xiàng gēn xìng ài jī qì rén jiāo wǎng

我会更偏向跟性爱机器人交往

I prefer dating a sex robot

yīn wèi nǐ bì jìng shì tā de zhǔ rén ma

因为你毕竟是它的主人嘛

You are the master

tā jì kě yǐ wán chéng nǚ yǒu de gōng zuò tā yòu néng wán chéng lǎo mā de gōng zuò

它既可以完成女友的工作，它又能完成老妈的工作

It does both what your girlfriend does and what your mother does

wǒ jué dé tǐng hǎo de

我觉得挺好的

I think they are cool

bì jìng xiàn zài zhēn de nǐ yào shuō nán rén lǐ jiě nǚ rén hái shì bǐ jiào kùn nán

毕竟现在真的你要说男人理解女人还是比较困难

Now it’s next to impossible for a man to understand a woman

rú guǒ cóng jī qì jiǎo dù

如果从机器角度

But as a machine

tā yǒu hěn duō suàn fǎ hé shù jù

它有很多算法和数据

It has algorithms and data

suǒ yǐ de huà tā kě néng huì bǐ nǐ gèng le jiě nǐ

所以的话它可能会比你更了解你

With which it could know you better than yourself

rú guǒ nǐ yǒu qián wǒ dāng rán xī wàng nǐ de shí jiān

如果你有钱我当然希望你的时间

When you have money I would want your time

rú guǒ nǐ yǒu shí jiān wǒ dāng rán xī wàng nǐ de qián

如果你有时间我当然希望你的钱

And when you have time, then obviously money

xī quē zī yuán ma

稀缺资源嘛

Whichever is scarcer

yǒu yī dìng jīng jì néng lì cái xíng le

有一定经济能力才行了

You have to be financially capable

méi yǒu jīng jì néng lì dōu shì kōng tán le

没有经济能力都是空谈了

Or everything is just empty talk

yuè shōu rù wǒ jué dé zài wàn kuài zuǒ yòu cái gòu

月收入我觉得在2万块左右（才够）

A monthly income of about 20 thousand would do

nǐ zhì shǎo tán liàn ài zhèng cháng de chī fàn

你至少谈恋爱正常的吃饭

At least you can pay for dinners

yī qǐ chū qù mǎi yī xiē shēng huó shàng de dōng xī

一起出去买一些生活上的东西

Or when you buy groceries

huò zhě kàn diàn yǐng zhè xiē

或者看电影这些

Or watch a movie

nǐ yào yǒu néng lì qù zhī fù zhè xiē dōng xī

你要有能力去支付这些东西

You should be able to pay for them

wǒ jué dé zhì shǎo zài shàng hǎi de huà

我觉得至少在上海的话

In Shanghai, personally

nǐ shì yào yǒu zhè yàng de yuè xīn ba

你是要有10k-20k这样的月薪吧

You need to make 10 to 20 thousand a month

wǒ shì bù tài lǐ jiě tán liàn ài wèi shén me yào hé jīng jì guà gōu zhè gè shì qíng

我是不太理解谈恋爱为什么要和经济挂钩这个事情

I don’t see the correlation between maintaining a relationship and one’s financial status

rú guǒ nǚ shēng yǒu néng lì nà nǚ shēng zhuàn qián yǎng jiā yě méi yǒu shén me wèn tí

如果女生有能力，那女生赚钱养家也没有什么问题

Woman can be the bread winner, I don’t see a problem with that

wǒ jué dé zhè bèi zi wǒ zū fáng dōu kě yǐ le

我觉得这辈子我租房都可以了

I can totally spend my life in a rented apartment

wǒ wèi shén me yī dìng yào mǎi fáng zi

我为什么一定要买房子

Why do I have to buy one

wài tān yòu bù xū yào qián

外滩又不需要钱

The Bund is free

sān kuài wǔ jiǎo qián mǎi liǎng zhī qì shuǐ

三块五角钱买两支汽水

Soda is 3 and a half yuan

zuò zài nà lǐ wǎn shàng tán liàn ài zhè yàng duō làng màn

坐在那里晚上谈恋爱这样多浪漫

And we can hang out there at night

nà kě néng wǒ yǎng tā huì duō yī diǎn

那可能我养她会多一点

I would spend more for her

zhēn xīn huà dāng rán xī wàng tā yǎng wǒ

真心话，当然希望她养我

To be honest I hope she pays my bills

wǒ shì bù jiè yì nǚ shēng yǎng wǒ de

我是不介意女生养我的

I don’t mind living off a girl

wǒ jué dé tǎng yíng de rén cái shì rén shēng yíng jiā

我觉得躺赢的人才是人生赢家

I believe the one who wins easily is the real winner

liǎng gè rén yī qǐ hù xiāng yǎng bù hǎo ma

两个人一起互相养不好吗？

Can’t we support each other?

nǚ hái zi gèng xī wàng bèi nán shēng zhuī ba

女孩子更希望被男生追吧

A girl probably likes to be wooed

rén jiā nǚ fāng dōu gěi nǐ àn shì le

人家女方都给你暗示了

The girl has given you a hint

hái shì yào yǒng gǎn de hé xǐ huān de nǚ hái shuō wǒ xǐ huān nǐ

还是要勇敢的和喜欢的女孩说我喜欢妳

Have some balls and tell her you like her

fàng mǎ guò lái

放马过来

Bring it on